We are all on this crazy roller coaster called 2020. As the shops open and the we dust off our ‘out clothes’ and life resumes to some sort of normality, I find myself sitting in a bit of a pause. Before the 23rd of March we would head out at least 4 days out of 5 in the week. Whether we went for a walk in the park nipped to Tooting to go to the Childsplay Brasserie and buy a few things from the shops or meet friends for a coffee/ brunch. Admittedly the latter was happening way less, as the twins were on the move and it was just such hard work.
I loved going out on Mommy nights, Mommy & Daddy dates, but now I feel hesitant. I received the ‘heart drops letter’ that I was on the high-risk group, so we were shielding. I am healthy except that I do not have a spleen, so my immune system is compromised. About 3 weeks into isolation my doctor called me back as I wanted to confirm the reason for being on the list. She asked me a few questions and decided that I could go to the medium risk group but still needed to isolate. I started to go out for solo walks or maybe take the kids out but never any shops and not seeing anyone, it was more for my sanity than anything.
The reality is that I got used to it, the isolation that is. We eat well, we work out, we drink cocktails and go for walks on the Common. I almost feel safe and the idea of going out meeting multiple people is even on a subconscious level very intimidating for me. It’s a weird one because I am not scared of getting ill, but I am concerned that if I do get ill, I may die. It really isn’t as bed a s it sounds when I say it out load, I mean surely it is a real fear. The media and old Boris haven’t said it all fine you can go out and you should be okay.
Then when we go out with 2 friends to Tooting Common and see people gathering in groups of 20, yes, I feel uncomfortable because we meant to be in groups of 6. Is it a social disorder? I know we all need to do what we feel comfortable with but really, I am wondering if anyone else is here, where I am or close? I am not a hermit I like/ like going out, shopping, eating in restaurants, so how does our future look ?
A question we must all be asking because it will not be the same. It should not be the same! This is our chance to pivot life. They used to say you can do that with your career, but literally we can do that for our entire socio-economic lives. I would really love to hear from you guys, if anyone is finding the ‘freedom’ hard to process.
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