Life – Create You Coaching

New Start, New You

Happy New Year is in order but already it has gone so quickly! The start of the month we took a break from drinking (alcohol), I can’t call it dry January as it was more of a dry 3 weeks.

It is long over due for this update as so much has happened. Pardon the radio silence but since moving out of London and getting the Life Coaching business (Create You Coaching) going there just hasn’t been much time around life, babies, and business.

Create You Coaching has started taking on clients and at present I am offering free sessions to gain some more experience and share what I have learnt during my course. If you or anyone you know is interested, you can DM on Create You Coaching’s Instagram account or email me at createyoucoaching@gmail.com for more information.

At Create You Coaching I support clients in overcoming obstacles in their lives that limit their success, within work, parenting, and other areas in life. I do this by offering transformational life coaching bringing an awareness of self to clients and providing tools for them to use in their lives when working towards their goals.

The focus will be on my niche of parents of young babies or children, that are finding it hard to see themselves in the wonderful blur of parenthood. However I am open to working with people that are not in that catagory. I found that when I started doing the things that made me happy, strong, and healthy I felt better and could be a better Mom/Mum to my children. It was a goal of mine from the start to be the best parent I could be, meaning having enough mind space and lack of pressure to do just that. I want to offer techniques for people to set goals and dig into any niggly negative thoughts they are having so they can be the person they want to be.

If you know of anyone that could benefit from this, please pass on my details, and get them to message me to find out more. Have a great weekend and looking forward to hearing from you or the people you recommend me to.

Exploring our new world

Dear readers, we have away for a week to celebrate my birthday and the plan was to take some time out to write a post. That didn’t happen I am afraid and since it has been a while since I have hit the keys, I am almost finding it hard to decide what to write about.

When we got back from our time in Herefordshire, where they had a one-way walking system on the pavement, it seemed very much business as usual here in London. We went to Brockwell Park and the Sunday Market was on. It was lovely, we made sure to keep our distance from people and use hand sanitizer regularly, but the stores were all trading and 2 of them sold facemasks along with their other usual fabric products.

It was a sunny day so anything I felt more confident that the sun would have zapped any Covid-19. I used to live in this little village before moving North to Kings Cross, so I always have an affinity for the area, but it is really great! It has a wonderful collection of shops and bars to explore and many of them are offering an order/ take away option for drinks and food.

Let’s start with inside the station there is a new ice cream bar, -12 ° with delicious tasty ice cream and on a hot summers day it was just what was needed. On Railton Road just outside the station, you will find The Commercial that is really one of the best pubs I have ever been to definitely worth stopping off if you are comfortable going into place. We chose to stay out in the sun, so my husband got a takeaway pint from Off the cuff; a music venue and bar. We happily strolled through the stalls and bought some Biltong from The Meat Boss, Teriyaki flavour is very good and a new one on me.

There is a deli called Sesami that I used to love getting spinach and feta parcels from, they have amazing freshly made treats inspired by Cypriot, Greek, Turkish, Middle-Eastern and Italian cuisine, but also offer some specialist delicious store cupboard goods.

We headed over to the park a kicked a ball around with Aria and Austin who very much enjoyed seeing people out and about. We just had a job keeping them at the 2 meter distance while joylessly kicking their ball around and pulling sticks around. If you are stuck for what to do oneday I really recommend this lovely area. There are many more places we didnt get to give a go such as The Agile Rabbit, First Aid Box, The Canopy Brewery, that are definately worth checking out.

The Social Shift: How to find your place

We are all on this crazy roller coaster called 2020. As the shops open and the we dust off our ‘out clothes’ and life resumes to some sort of normality, I find myself sitting in a bit of a pause. Before the 23^rd of March we would head out at least 4 days out of 5 in the week. Whether we went for a walk in the park nipped to Tooting to go to the Childsplay Brasserie and buy a few things from the shops or meet friends for a coffee/ brunch. Admittedly the latter was happening way less, as the twins were on the move and it was just such hard work.

I loved going out on Mommy nights, Mommy & Daddy dates, but now I feel hesitant. I received the ‘heart drops letter’ that I was on the high-risk group, so we were shielding. I am healthy except that I do not have a spleen, so my immune system is compromised. About 3 weeks into isolation my doctor called me back as I wanted to confirm the reason for being on the list. She asked me a few questions and decided that I could go to the medium risk group but still needed to isolate. I started to go out for solo walks or maybe take the kids out but never any shops and not seeing anyone, it was more for my sanity than anything.

The reality is that I got used to it, the isolation that is. We eat well, we work out, we drink cocktails and go for walks on the Common. I almost feel safe and the idea of going out meeting multiple people is even on a subconscious level very intimidating for me. It’s a weird one because I am not scared of getting ill, but I am concerned that if I do get ill, I may die. It really isn’t as bed a s it sounds when I say it out load, I mean surely it is a real fear. The media and old Boris haven’t said it all fine you can go out and you should be okay.

Then when we go out with 2 friends to Tooting Common and see people gathering in groups of 20, yes, I feel uncomfortable because we meant to be in groups of 6. Is it a social disorder? I know we all need to do what we feel comfortable with but really, I am wondering if anyone else is here, where I am or close? I am not a hermit I like/ like going out, shopping, eating in restaurants, so how does our future look ?

A question we must all be asking because it will not be the same. It should not be the same! This is our chance to pivot life. They used to say you can do that with your career, but literally we can do that for our entire socio-economic lives. I would really love to hear from you guys, if anyone is finding the ‘freedom’ hard to process.

Food prep the Mom2Squared way

It has been a while since I managed to do a post as I have been tweaking my schedule at home to be more mindful and spend not only time on exercise but also fit in meditation and other positive influences in my day. I have shared a few recipes with you on here now and I am not sure if you have noticed a pattern, but I have definitely found a method that works for my and the family.

We don’t do large batch cooking, yes, we do freeze extra portions but we make fresh and then freeze a few portions for when we need a meal quickly. What I do is use the entire day to prepare the meal in stages and it comes together at night for the dinner. We generally feed Austin and Aria at 5pm and then pull ours together after bedtime, but we are not starting from scratch. I would at the very least have fried the onions and vegetables in advance depending on what meal we are having.

I would say that roasting vegetables has become a huge part of my cooking because the vegetables love it, they morph into something delicious. They sizzle and crisp, soften and sweeten. What is not to love right? I would normally start off roasting a batch of whatever it is that I may need first thing, when every I have the time to chop dress and pop in. Normally around 10:00 while The Mini Music Makers are on and I can nip to the kitchen. There are a few key spices that add the flavour to our food and we have found them very baby friendly. The magic happens by using the right amount of the following; Mixed Herbs, Garam Masala, Ground Cumin, Paprika, Garlic powder, Ground black Pepper, Fennel Seeds, Onion Seeds and Rosemary. Start small with the spices and see what works for your family. We just add salt and chilli once we have removed the childrens portion.

Roasting the butter nut for our pasta sauce first thing or when you have 10 minutes to prepare it.

When need a quick meal, I always start with frying off onions and grating a carrot in, for me I then know that is the makings of a balanced meal. Add some mixed herbs and a splash of balsamic vinegar fry off the vinegar and add a can of chopped tomatoes or passata, now you have a nice pasta sauce, not from a jar, no hidden sugar. You can always put a teaspoon of maple syrup or sugar alternative in. I use the same sauce when making our rice balls and just use a little bit and then have plenty left for another dish.

Start frying the vegetable base when you get a spare moment in the day, here is the start of our healthy pasta sauce and Red pepper Pasta.

If you are doing anything you make in a pan, early in the day when you have time chop up your onion and other vegetables you are planning to use and fry them down. Sometimes I even do this without staying there I just pop back and stir once in a while or you can unpack the dishwasher will it is cooking away. As you get more used to cooking you will figure out your own short cuts, just know it doesn’t have to be a big job and a big clean up.

The finished product of the Tomato based pasta sauce, only two pans to clean

I use the same chopping board throughout the day, unless I have done meat on it. It just stays there until I am done chopping the last vegetable or herb, load the dishwasher as you go and rinse your utensils. By the time you have eaten you should only have the pan and the plates and cutlery you used. Yes, there will be exceptions but for the most part you have it under control. Happy cooking people!

Summer garden and cocktail fun!

Happy Monday people, I trust your day went well? I have always said that I would be honest because I do not want to send out a false image into the world that may affect other negatively. This weekend however was such a HOOT that I will share that it! My husband and I were meant to be going to Budapest without the children, our first trip away from them. As exiting as that was and disappointing it was to be cancelled, we had a lovely time here at home in our little paradise/ suntrap.

On Friday we played in the garden most of the day. We were still suffering the effects from the night before when Aria would not go to sleep( dummy removal related) so we needed to postpone a video chat we set up with some friends. We did spend the early evening in the garden eating dinner and just relaxing into the weekend. Hubby made us a delicious Old-Fashioned cocktail and we got an early night.

We had loads of plans for the weekend but sometimes you just need to adjust and tweak till you find your comfortable place. Matt and I did a great strength workout in the garden and prepared some meats for our braai later in the afternoon. Luckily, I had already made the Potato Puffs for the kids, so their lunch was sorted.

Our menu consisted of yogurt and sweet chilli marinaded chicken thighs and Asian pork belly (my favourite!!) with corn on the cob and braai bread as sides. The babies enjoyed some roast sweet potato that we warmed on the braai. So just to give some context, a Braai is a South African version of the BBQ, there is generally home made marinades, many sides and it is more of a journey than a quick preparation of food. Also, we allow tasters, so as you cook you cut the meat into small chunks and pass around for guest to enjoy. We just passed it between the two of us under the current circumstances.

We had some refreshing Shandy’s in the afternoon and once the children had gone to bed, we made some cocktails, starting with an Elderflower gin Fizz for sundowners. Followed by Japanese Blossoms recommended to us by our awesome neighbours and friends while listen to Another Ambition’s mix. Once we had come into the house and put Netfliks Unorthodox on we had a night cap. Keep an eye you for my next piece that tells you more about the cocktails and ingredients.

Japanese Blossom rum cocktails in copper glasses

Sunday rolled round and the kids were in the garden from 10:00 with my hubby doing the food prep, tidying and iced coffee preparation. Thanks darling!! The day was mostly tanning for me and Matt in the studio while the children had their naps and the afternoon more of the same really and a walk to the park so the children could run around. I do not know if it is just me, but they keep running to the risky areas, rubbish or anything that could remotely be covered in Corona?! My husband kindly informed me that the virus can not live on items exposed to the sun for longer than 5 minutes.

*Trying to have a nice photo taken with my children…*

We had an over the fence catch up with Emi and Etti, as the kids call our neighbours and watched the last episode of Unorthodox. It was very good, and I was much disappointed that the 4^th episode was the last! What?! Here is to everyone having a great week and hope to hear from some of you how you are doing during lockdown. Keep safe!

Dummy days, no dummy days!

O wow this week is consumed by broken sleep, due to us deciding that it is a good time to take the dummies away! And I am doing a free course on mental resilience, every bit helps right. I love a bit of bringing in positivity into your life! Hence the silence on the posting front, but I am here!

Back to the dummies; I have been following my instincts a lot with Austin and Aria and listening to their needs. The same in this situation, I feel that they are understanding more and need the dummies less yet seemed more addicted than ever. They could now ask for them, look for them, point at them and I even thought they could smell them. I have removed them from the room now and they had some radar that said where there are. We only offer them at nap and bedtime, but they were creeping into the rest of the day.

Wednesday, day 3 of no dummies: At the weekend we took them away but gave them back at 3am mostly because I couldn’t deal with being awake but that didn’t work, as Aria knew that they existed so went ballistic when they were not given. Now we are forming a different bad habit, cuddling to sleep. In hindsight I see why they went down so well without lots of cuddles, DUMMIES! Hay do what works for you in the moment parents.

It is a little shame that we were basically at the sleeping through stage and now we are back to the start again. I am finding that you need mental strength such as you have never known during this process. Challenges all over the place; what are we doing you may think to attempt this during lockdown? Never one to stand down, I am holding firm but not alone, my husband is my rock in times when I am feeling like I want to falter or cave. I look to him to be our strength, do not forget that you are team. Always, but even more now that we are all staying home, do not be shy to lean on each other.

On the third night dummy free, after holding Aria a little before bed she drifted off, with no crying and they slept through. Me on the other hand found it so hard to switch off for fear of Aria waking that I feel like I was up all night. I think everyone needs to wean off the comfort of a dummy, even the parents. I believe that is where the battle is fought and won, it is us that want to grab for it when the babies can’t settle or at 3am when they wake.

Positively it is like we are growing closer to the twins in the way that we now get to cuddle them a bit longer to get them to go down and even seeing their little personalities blossom without the old friend we call ‘D’ in the house now in fear of the babies understanding and asking for them again. It’s a process, we not magicians it has been hard, and I am sure there will be a few more days of work in it. I remind myself that this is not permanent and the same can be said for anything challenging or difficult with children.

Start your week fresh

We made it people! How was your Easter weekend? ‘Mondays’ or in this case Tuesday, can be hard, it’s not just me, right? So far so good here, Husband is back to work, I played with the children ( thank you Mini Music Makers!) and fed them lunch. Daddy has now stepped in for a little play before naptime.

Feeding Austin and Aria, yes take a medal, everyone is fed

It was last night while sleeping that what I wanted to share came to me, and it is not rocket science, but it has definitely had an impact on my life. It is wise words from my Mother, and it is for days or weeks that things do not feel like they are going quite your way. In my life I chose to be happy or aim for happiness. I have met people along the way that say they don’t feel the need for constant happiness, and they need to feel their pain. If that is you, and it works then by all means, do you.

The sanctuary of our garden after bedtime

At some point during my childhood I started to experience anxiety and depression, I was overwhelmed with pressure from school. My parents tried to guide me and give me advise but it is only in my adult life that it makes sense to me. It may be that you need a level of emotional maturity to process all the feelings that you have or receive from others. I admittedly was and still am sensitive to others and what they put out, many years and I still get it wrong but for the most part I can tell if it is mine, or someone else’s emotions. If it is not yours; breath, move through it move on. Easier said than done, I know.

Smile and the world smiles with you. Look at yourself in the mirror and even if you are feeling low/ depressed smile.

Chose to be happy that day. It is infections and soon your mood will lift.

Put on your face/ make up and take on the day. This was a little more relevant when I was working but even during lockdown and isolation if you feel like you need a pick me up put on your ‘war paint’. Indulge in make-up free days, if not now, then when!!?

If there is someone that is giving you a hard time, pay them a compliment. Do not be disingenuous but find something that you like be it their tie or shirt and say. Many years of this and I love paying people compliments, people are so guarded in today’s world.

Breath – Technically this one is from my Dad.

Take life by the horns, that old classic, but hay don’t knock it.

Do/be you.

Find that what brings you joy and bring more of that into your life. If you are not happy chances are you are not doing what you truly desire.

Focus the things you want in your life not the things you don’t.

This too will pass.

Here is Mamma Sue’s sage advice and a few bits I have picked up on my way.

I hope you all have a wonderful week and enjoy the sunny Spring days and that some of the above can support you in your day. I am aiming to share a delicious recipe with you later in the week so keep an eye out for when I post that.

Emotions on lockdown

I hope that you have had a good start to your week. Considering that I did a post on finding your happy at home last week I felt that it would only be honest of me to post what Monday and today was like for me. For some reason on Sunday night I woke up with familiar feeling of anxiety and a helicopter going over our area. I just couldn’t drift off again, after going to the loo and then googling why the helicopter was out and finding nothing I tried again.

Since then really, I have felt very anxious. Anxiety is something that I have suffered with in the past but through a controlled and busy life I have got it under control, for the most part. There are those moments when I have lost/ misplaced something that it rears its head but not day to day.

A few years back, more like 6 years back, we were living in a house share and had a carefree life for the most part, but it was then that I suffered the most. My heart races and during the evening I would get night sweats, so much so that it feels like you are over heating but no one else in the house felt it. I was on Beta-blockers and anti-anxiety meds but chose to work through the emotions and do yoga to push myself into a better place.

I had already been practicing Kundalini yoga, but we were also partying a lot and there was a lot of alcohol involved in that. I needed to stop drinking to get the anxiety under control. There was also an element of worrying about my job as a store manager, I just took it all to heart so much and thought that everything was up to me. This is just a brief glimpse into my history with anxiety.

During my pregnancy I promised myself and my unborn twins that I would not carry over my anxiety, stress and anger over to them. As if by a miracle I didn’t, my pregnancy went very well and my moods were calm and controlled, for the most part.

Now 3 weeks into isolation I just felt the wave of anxiety come over me. It is the racing heart and then tight chest that gets me. It is more of a physical feeling than being mentally bogged down. I considered that it could be a shared feeling as the entire world currently has feelings of fear and uncertainty. I ended up doing kids yoga with Glowyoga and then followed it with a quick Kundalini yoga class with One Woman Revolution that focused on Balancing Prana & Apana. Look I feeling better, but its a process, so I a going to have to work through it and take daily steps to improve it.

There are other things that I will be doing that can help, such as making my gratitude and wish lists and getting things on my mind out, the blog will help with that. Keeping the houses reasonably organized, I think this is actually a bigger worry than I let on. All day I tidy but at the end of the day it is still like a bomb hit. I would say making one noticeably improvement a day will encourage feelings of accomplishment.

This is were I am at right now and I wanted anyone that reads my blog to know the realities of life, both with children and now during the Corona lock down. As I always say we are in it together, try reaching out to someone if you are feeling a bit down, helping others will boost your mood to. Keep safe and I’ll be working on another post for later in the week.

Finding your Happy at home

Most of my blog’s focus has been on the children and what we do in our day, and while that makes for fun and interesting writing there is a lot more going on in people’s lives.

As it happens this morning, we did a Joe Wicks P.E session together as a family, they are rather challenging so that will be my exercise for today and I will commit to doing a hardcore HIIT session tomorrow. Mostly within a day I do at least one work out, whether that is a calming yoga, quick core workout by MadFit or a Peloton session with my husband.

We need to take the time to keep our heads straight, I can confirm that some days this has been so hard! You still have all the normal work to do coupled with all this fitness ‘malark’ and being a full-time good wife. It’s a lot so make sure to also cordon off time for you away from it all. Even the fitness, yes it will help but you need time to think or not think. On Monday after the children went down for a nap, I ran myself a bath and popped a Lush bath bomb( I cut it in half so I had some for another day) in and listened to a Podcast, Happy Place with Fearne Cotton and Russel Brand, confession I actually loves what he has to say! Yes, he makes it sound preachy and talks very fast but at least he is saying something and thinking about others.

While I know many people have been spring cleaning, decluttering and getting the garden ready we have not been that productive, well we have done the garden but it was only this morning that I gave our shelves in the lounge a sort. It seems that each time the babies can reach higher we just move items and after months it looked beyond messy. Giving areas in your home a freshen up can quickly and easily lift your spirits, like with most things you just need to set the time aside to do it. I tackled ours while in PJ’s and just did it!

Now the dust has settled it seems more and more social events are popping up. This evening we are enjoying a bottle of wine with above mentioned neighbours’ this evening. There is a garden between us, so safe distance sorted! Similarly, we have calls set up with some friends from our NCT group on Friday and Matt with the NCT guys on Thursday.

My lovely neighbour and Godmother to my children gave us a great idea that should have come to mind but in busy lives… They are ordering a takeaway and doing a date night every Saturday. Setting the table up like a restuarant and enjoying time together. We are looking forward to ‘going out’ for Japanese on Saturday night.

Casey from Sensoryland has scheduled Cuppa Club for the Moms or Dads to log in and have a chat on Zoom. We get the chance to talk about something that you struggled with/ found difficult that week or share an activity that was fun. I found it super helpful to just say out load what was bothering me and saying it to someone that isn’t my husband. I have been struggling to sleep or get back to sleep after waking up for the babies, one of the members had a tip to think of your thoughts as a train and each carriage is a thought. If the thought isn’t something you want to explore or that will serve you jump it and move to the next. So, go on connect with groups that you belonged to you never know if you can offer some support to someone out there too.

Remember your life before the lockdown and the things that made you happy and try recreating or adapt the things that made you happy. Create your own happy.

Hallo Corona…

To be honest I haven’t wanted to jump on the band wagon of Corona and what it is doing to the society that we know so well. Sadly, it has come to a point where it needs to be mentioned and then incorporated into our lives.

Today we took a walk to Tooting to see if we can find handwash, nappies and milk for our twin babies. We saw a huge que outside Iceland and on our return home there was some altercation but all we could make out is something about queuing. I mean people are scared and desperate for food. I believe it is the fear that is causing this and hopefully in a few weeks the dust will settle, and people will realize that there is food if you don’t buy it all for yourself!

We have not been stock piling anything because we understood/thought that if everyone bought what they needed then there wouldn’t be this problem. As it stands some people will be going hungry while others have more food than they need or can eat. This situation is bringing out a side to people that can’t be helped or is making them take actions that they never thought they would. If we had teenagers for example, I would be worried how to feed them for 3 months. Everyone is coping with it differently.

Back to our walk after checking Sainsbury and then Iceland being a no go, a chemist without handwash we went into the Tesco and they had a few bits and pieces, relief! We got whole milk for our babies and some Porn Star Martini’s, basic needs, right?! We still needed hand wash so tried Boots even though Matt was convinced that Boots and chemists don’t do handwash…No judgement.

We walked home having not touched anything or buying stockpile levels. We had had some fresh air but unfortunately felt rather stressed and low about the entire situation. It will all simmer down I am sure, but currently the country is in fear and panic. People have activated their fight or flight but there are no flights out of this or any at all really. Eternally positive, I am sure we will get through this and things will return to some state of normality, something less post-apocalyptic. There has not been an apocalypse, we still have luxury’s that previous generations in dyer positions didn’t have so be grateful and carry on.