I hope that you have had a good start to your week. Considering that I did a post on finding your happy at home last week I felt that it would only be honest of me to post what Monday and today was like for me. For some reason on Sunday night I woke up with familiar feeling of anxiety and a helicopter going over our area. I just couldn’t drift off again, after going to the loo and then googling why the helicopter was out and finding nothing I tried again.
Since then really, I have felt very anxious. Anxiety is something that I have suffered with in the past but through a controlled and busy life I have got it under control, for the most part. There are those moments when I have lost/ misplaced something that it rears its head but not day to day.
A few years back, more like 6 years back, we were living in a house share and had a carefree life for the most part, but it was then that I suffered the most. My heart races and during the evening I would get night sweats, so much so that it feels like you are over heating but no one else in the house felt it. I was on Beta-blockers and anti-anxiety meds but chose to work through the emotions and do yoga to push myself into a better place.
I had already been practicing Kundalini yoga, but we were also partying a lot and there was a lot of alcohol involved in that. I needed to stop drinking to get the anxiety under control. There was also an element of worrying about my job as a store manager, I just took it all to heart so much and thought that everything was up to me. This is just a brief glimpse into my history with anxiety.
During my pregnancy I promised myself and my unborn twins that I would not carry over my anxiety, stress and anger over to them. As if by a miracle I didn’t, my pregnancy went very well and my moods were calm and controlled, for the most part.
Now 3 weeks into isolation I just felt the wave of anxiety come over me. It is the racing heart and then tight chest that gets me. It is more of a physical feeling than being mentally bogged down. I considered that it could be a shared feeling as the entire world currently has feelings of fear and uncertainty. I ended up doing kids yoga with Glowyoga and then followed it with a quick Kundalini yoga class with One Woman Revolution that focused on Balancing Prana & Apana. Look I feeling better, but its a process, so I a going to have to work through it and take daily steps to improve it.
There are other things that I will be doing that can help, such as making my gratitude and wish lists and getting things on my mind out, the blog will help with that. Keeping the houses reasonably organized, I think this is actually a bigger worry than I let on. All day I tidy but at the end of the day it is still like a bomb hit. I would say making one noticeably improvement a day will encourage feelings of accomplishment.
This is were I am at right now and I wanted anyone that reads my blog to know the realities of life, both with children and now during the Corona lock down. As I always say we are in it together, try reaching out to someone if you are feeling a bit down, helping others will boost your mood to. Keep safe and I’ll be working on another post for later in the week.