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Not all days are great

Not all days are great, and I did say I would share a spectrum not just the shiny ‘display’ days. Sometimes you have curve balls and add teething or ‘testing their emotions’ babies and you can be left feeling like you’ve been on a bender. We all remember what that feels like right? And I don’t mean in a good way either. Drained, at your wits end but still needing to be the best you for your children. 

For some added welly we are currently having a dry month and have been doing so since the 25th of January, in case anyone thought I chose a short month. We were in South Africa for most of January so there was nothing dry about that, but I digress. 

This morning we woke up a little early, pleased to announce after a full night sleep. Feeling ready for the day I did all the morning duties and even got to them earlier than usual. We took a walk to get to a playgroup for 10:30, only to find out that it is not on over the half term and I missed the memo. Aria had fallen asleep while Austin was still awake, no worries, right? We will get home, have lunch, Austin will go down and Aria will go down a bit later. 

Not so much. Austin went down a dream but I tried to get Aria down too soon. She woke Austin and my plans of spending one on one time with them both went down the toilet. Austin was emotional, and I took his dummy away as we only give it to them when they sleeping. He has been more attached to his lately. Austin now slithers down on his back and lies on the floor crying when ever things don’t go his way. This reaction happens when I leave the room and he can’t, when he wants to snatch a toy from Aria and I don’t let him, when he wants to chew on a tube of cream or anything, I deem dangerous or not suitable. There are probably more but I’m sure you get the picture.  

I proceed to try distracting them with offering snacks (in case they are hungry), water, cuddles, games, singing, another nap. Phew at this stage the crying/ steam has left Mom2 feeling drained and just open the baby gate so they can roam but this leads them straight to the kitchen, a den of danger. Austin is so happy he virtually skips to the larder were their plates and spoons are, so I close the larder. I put them both in their high chairs while I finish dinner, soy and honey chicken breast and steamed broccoli and peas. Opening the larder to use the microwave, yes I use a microwave, and crash the Pyrex dish I use to make their oats shatters into so many pieces. Breathe it was not their fault, well it was but will not get upset they are babies. 

Dinner is going well when Austin starts pushing everything away, he has had enough so I take him out and go to brush his teeth and leave him in his cot, with dummy, while I brush Aria’s. I dress Austin in PJ’s and take him to the lounge, bring Aria and her PJ’s to the lounge and pray for the strength to get to bedtime.  

After I have put Aria’s pajama’s on, they both seem happy with their environment and also take turns to sit on my lap and give me cuddles. Aria brings a book for me to read to her, Austin patiently waits till she leaves and then takes his turn. At bedtime I feed them both a bottle of milk and after burping Austin and giving him his dummy, he comes forward to give me a kiss, with dummy still in. It’s like he said:’ you did okay today Mommy, I love you’. My heart melts but surely that’s not what he meant, then he does it again and I ‘hear’ the same thing. Happiness is. 


Author: bernadineawalters

We live in South London and I am a mother of twins. They are 1 and I am documenting life after giving birth. The bad days, the great days and also making sure to find myself within motherhood. I look forward to sharing my varied interests with you and hope to find some like minded people out there and hopfully be of some support to some new Moms out there.

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